Once you reach a certain age or a certain amount of time spent with the same partner, especially as a woman, friends and family will inevitably start asking questions about marriage or even downright pressure you into taking this step. But is getting married such a good idea? I believe not, since, nowadays, at least in the developed countries, it doesn’t bring truly valuable benefits.
Marriage is no longer necessary legally or practically. Once upon a time, for a woman, getting married meant ensuring financial security and gaining access to a variety of legal rights they wouldn’t dream of otherwise. But now, in the modern world, years after the feminist movement has established legal rights for women, we no longer need marriage to get access to certain benefits. Nowadays, women are highly educated and actually constitute the majority of the workforce in the US. Furthermore, we no longer require a marriage license to be allowed to visit our partner in the hospital, and, for a lot of us, getting married doesn’t even imply a tax break.
Marriage does not guarantee fidelity. Many people get married hoping that the sanctity of marriage will reduce the chances of being cheated on. But if your spouse doesn’t respect your relationship and is tempted to cheat, a piece of paper will have no power in preventing infidelity. Actually, it seems that in around half of marriages, one of the spouses will have an extra-marital relation at some point.
There’s no longer a stigma on you if you have a child without getting married. While, in the past, having a child before marriage was terrifying for a woman due to social stigmatization, nowadays, we’ve become considerably more open-minded. Actually, according to a Pew report, even in 2008, over 40 percent of births were to unmarried women – and the number has risen during the last few years. In addition, according to the HHS, a third of children adoptions in the US are by single parents or unmarried couples.
Marriage does not bring security in a relationship. There are too many people deciding to get married for the wrong reason. And one of them is thinking that it will ensure that “until death do us part”. While this may have been true a long time ago, or still is when it comes to very religious persons, marriage doesn’t ensure the security of the relationships in many of the cases. Though the divorce in the US rate has seen ups and downs during the last few years, it is still alarmingly higher compared to what it was a few decades ago. The only thing that will truly bring security is having a strong relationship, based on trust, no matter the legal status.
Love is mysterious and magical, and it should stay that way. And marriage, by definition, is just a contract. The beauty of love is that it is undefined, it is unique to you and your beloved one, and it is continually changing as you grow together. I neither need nor want my love to be defined in legal terms.
The American dream, one of freedom and equality, is held highly in the hearts of every citizen in the United States. With the “American” dream in mind, most will say they support equal rights for homosexuals. But if you ask these members of society if they are for gay marriage then the support of gay equality comes to a stop and majority of Americans vote for the Constitutional Amendment, which bans gay marriage. Americans do believe in providing equal rights to the gay community, which include no toleration of discrimination in jobs, rights protecting gays from indecent actions, rights allowing same access to housing, rights allowing advancement in government, and so on and so forth. However, the concept of gay marriage is still not considered an “equal right” to American people. A huge misconception is the idea that gays have a choice to whom they can feel attracted to. Just as heterosexuals cannot” choose” who they are drawn to, neither can homosexuals. Opposition movements promote that homosexuality is preventable. They believe living as a homosexual is not as easy as it is portrayed in media.
How can a member of the straight community say that homosexuality can be changed, or even if homosexuals can be happy or not. What about the research that has been proven that homosexuality is genetic? No one would ever choose a life that is faced with prejudice and discrimination. Even if its ethnicity, religious beliefs or homosexuality. The same assumption of choice leads to the accusation that homosexuality is all about sex, which is called sexual perversion. Again, the truth is that homosexuality is multi-faceted. Homosexuality is more about the love and affection than it is sex. Sex, in a committed relationship is about expressing love. This is true whether it may be in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. Being gay defines who that person is and makes up his or her identity. Very few straights can comprehend this. Instead, heterosexuals use their beliefs support for what “normal” should mean.
The most repeated cases’ opposing gay marriages is the idea that it is immoral, but the “immoral” label is only based on religious perceptions. The First Amendment states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Religion is not, supposed to be the basis for our country’s laws according to the first amendment. Nevertheless, most of the individuals against gay marriage try to stress their religious beliefs onto others and make those beliefs into laws. Not everyone is religiously inclined to the same morals and beliefs. The gay community is simply fighting to be free from religion in determining the laws of the country. The opposition believes marriage should be between man and a woman; otherwise, the marriage would be untraditional. The anti-gay community also believes same-sex marriages would threaten the basis of marriage. I strongly disagree with this argument because no evidence can support this allegation.
How does giving a person the right to marry threaten marriage? Why is the right to get married only given to the heterosexual society? Courts recently say there is no reason why gays should not be allowed to marry realizing the American principles of human rights. The reasoning behind such laws and beliefs seems more like direct prejudice rather than an overwhelming reason worthy of denying people their civil rights. All in all, much of what the straight community believes to be true about gays is based only on stereotypes. There are those who assume gays are promiscuous and are unable to form long lasting relationships. I believe these stereotypes are extremely inaccurate. Even though unstable and sex-based relationships exist in both the gay and the straight communities, they are usually among the younger generation and only represent a small percentage.
Gay marriage is defined as a legal union between members of the same sex. Ten percent of Americans, the size of the gay community, are denied the right to marry. The individuals representing this group want what every heterosexual has, the right to legally marry their life partner. As a country we need to move away from false reasoning, whether it may be based on ignorance or prejudice. Every person needs to be allowed the civil right to wed his or her life partner. Our society must live up to the quota of the American dream. The Pledge of Allegiance states “liberty and justice for all” and so should every citizen in our country.