Zombie Survival Guide Essay

That’s it, it happened. Yes, the undead are rising in the streets and are biting their way to invasion. As you hear the crowd repeatedly moaning “Braaains…” and thus expressing its intentions toward you, you may ask yourself how you can get out of this situation. That’s when, lucky you, you remember about this process essay you have read not so long ago! Yes, you got it right; the following paragraphs will roughly help you survive in the event of a zombie apocalypse, should it happen. You may read this with the closest attention.

You just realised the people around you weren’t simply crippled as you heard a girl scream “Oh my god, he’s biting me! Aaargh…”. Should it not be obvious enough, a man shouts “Zombies! Run!”. First step towards survival: Listen to him. Don’t you go rescue that girl, you stupid; you would definitely get swarmed and couldn’t avoid being bitten, probably by that same girl you had run to because you couldn’t understand what “he’s biting me!” means. Run! And be smart : Don’t go to the mall or any other crowded place, you would be either running into more zombies, either submit yourself to chaos, as other panicked survivors wouldn’t hesitate to push you into the hoard to save their lives. If it’s possible, just go home. It may not be the best place on the long term, but it should help you get a good start. If you’re too far from home, skip next paragraph.

Okay, happily enough, you reached your home alive. Don’t go lay on the couch and watch the season finale of your favorite show, there’s no time for that. Actually, you can’t stay there too long. When arrived, just take a backpack and start stuffing. Full it with food (and don’t start making sandwiches, if you didn’t understand, you’re supposed to be in a hurry), water and drugs, should you need some. A first aid kit would also be useful, if you had the mind to buy yourself one before this mess even started. Then, change clothes. Wear something that covers most of your skin and allows you to move freely. Sport clothes would be perfect, as you will have to do some. Remember? “Run!” If you have any kind of protection equipment such has arm pads, take it too; it could save you, should a zombie try bite into it.

Now that you’ve got all you need from home, or that you skipped the last paragraph, it’s time to move. Get in your car: You can’t simply walk or run to your next objective. No time, remember? Also, being in a car is kind of a good protection, if your doors are locked. If you don’t have a car, steal one. If there’s someone in it, remember: It’s him or you. Please choose yourself, as if you don’t, your former student or human being will have written this essay for nothing. You’re okay, you have a car? Perfect! Rush out of the city! It’s pretty simple, cities hold more people and more people means more zombies or competition. Find a village. When you’ll get near one, don’t forget: It’s important to leave your car behind before reaching it! Don’t think you can just enter the village and park your car without being noticed. Moreover, don’t think it is okay to be noticed! It is not okay. Did you forget you were escaping zombies already?

You made it! Well, hopefully. It’s now time for you to find a shelter. You need a place that you can easily block the access from, so you could eventually sleep peacefully. It should also contain plenty of food and water, what you brought with yourself but that you probably already finished all because you didn’t think of rationing just in case you would run out. A grocery store would be fine, but a Wal-Mart, a Costco or any kind of super market would be better, as it would have everything to fulfill your needs for months. The best option for you would be a warehouse, as it would be emptier than a market and thus safer to go to. Good luck!

You actually did it? You’re still alive? Great! I’m jealous! It’s now time to reach for other survivors, because you’re kind of lonely already. Here’s a tip: Don’t you leave your shelter and die trying, there’s a better solution! It’s quite simple, actually. Grab a phone or go on the internet and use one of these tools to reach for other people. It’s safer than just leaving your safe spot for a random direction. Then, if you did find people, who probably have read this process essay too, it’s time to organize yourself some survival association! And don’t you count on me to explain to you how to do that. I’ve already saved your life, how dare you ask for more? You may be lonely, but I’m probably already dead, you egoist.

Daniel Torres
10/10/12
English 101
How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
Imagine one morning waking up as a regular college student, and noticing something strange, there’s no sound in the halls this morning. The halls that once had posters and people now have zombies and blood. That can only mean one thing: a zombie apocalypse. What does one do to survive the zombie infested place once called home? There are a few steps in surviving the apocalypse, like knowing your enemy, gathering the essentials, finding shelter, and making it back to civilization alive.
The first step is to know what a zombie is; a zombie is a creature that died and was then resurrected from the dead. One’s first inclination is to stab the zombie in the heart. Well, that would be the impractical thing to do considering that they are already dead. The only organ controlling a zombie is the brain, therefore it’s best to decapitate them or aim for their heads. Once the enemy has been acknowledged it is best to remain calm, because it wouldn’t be wise to overreact and draw attention to oneself. Once calmed and informed the next few step should be fairly easy.
The next step to surviving a zombie apocalypse is to gather useful weapons. Household appliances make great weapons since they are easily found around the house. Look for anything that might come in handy for surviving. Guns would be the weapons of choice but one might not always have ammunition, so look for anything that has a sharp pointed end such as pencils, knifes, and screwdrivers, and things like bats and 2 x 4 boards. As one continues looking for weapons it would be advised to gather food, water, and a first aid kit as well. Make sure the food won’t spoil or go bad no one wants to eat rotten fruit, it is best to take granola bars as they won’t expire or go bad as quickly. Try to only take light material, also, like a blanket and backpack to store everything.
After that begin the search for anyone who might have survived. It is...

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